If I Was in This Club

BOSTON - I sometimes copy-edit at bilingual Chinese-English publication here. Like all newspapers and magazines, we tend to get a fair amount of junk sent to the paper from hapless public relations people around the country. Today's delivery was one of the best. Our newspaper became the proud owner of "China Picture Book: CEOs Making Money and Having Fun in China."

Haven't heard of it? Neither had I.

If you're interested, you can order the book here. I would recommend it, unless you're looking that perfect gag gift for someone soon to depart to China. The book is the worst combination of empty management manuals, glossy travel guide and public relations department creation.

A choice excerpt:

"In China, a CEO is treated like a king! Police escorts, personal meals with the mayor, gifts at every gathering... and the business ain’t bad, either!"

Super cool! When Joe Mancuso (picture at the bottom of this paragraph) does the writing, I do the buying! The book is so over the top it's ridiculous. The main "story" deals with Mancuso, as he tours China with a group of fellow Chief Executive Officers who are members of something called the "CEO Club," which he founded. He visits all the major tourist spots of China. There are goofy photo-ops of him and his friends parading on the Great Wall, sauntering on the Bund in Shanghai and looking goofy during minority dance celebrations.



China has 54 officially recognized minorities. It seems Mr. Mancuso has waltzed with at least 43 of them.

I feel sorry for everyone involved in this pitiful enterprise. To the clients of Mancuso, who really were just brought along on a glorified tour of the country. They had plenty of "ceremonies" and "escorts" and "receptions," but little actual business. It looks fun, but for the money that these people must have paid (and considering they are allegedly in charge of the medium-sized companies back in the States) it seems like a waste of time.

The Chinese don't come off better. The book portrays them as rather stupid, for so lavishly laying out the red carpet for these quasi-celebrities. The English text of the book is constantly outlining how easy it is to do business in China, because the locals are just dying for white people to come and do business with them.

The apotheosis of this is a page that written entirely in English. The book is supposed to be a guide for Americans who wanted to do business in China, but in an effort to cover all markets, it's presents in both language. (For rather unclear reasons, it reads in English from front cover to back cover, but in Chinese the other way around.) The page of just English text -- which helpfully points out that it isn't in Chinese -- tells the BIG SECRET OF DOING BUSINESS IN CHINA. This secret turns out to be... all Chinese think American investors work for Fortune 500 companies!

Boy, the Chinese are so stupid. They fête and fête white people who are actually small potatoes. The truth, I'm afraid, is more complex. First of all, major investors know who the Fortune 500 companies are, and don't leave their handlings with small-time dealers like the CEO Club. These remaining companies are still valuable for certain provinces and communities, and they are a big deal there. But it isn't going to drive government policy or anything. The potential business they bring is important enough that its better for the hosts to err on the edge of formality.

Their Web site promises "a firsthand look at American CEOs visiting, networking, and learning how business is done in China... and insight into Asian culture, historical landmarks, and information on all major Chinese cities." There's some truth to that. What the buyer of the "China Picture Book" gets is an inside look into how American business are bumbling their way through one of the biggest potential markets in world history.