Bump Bump Bump-ed

ORLANDO - Orlando International Airport is terrible, terrible in a faded Blade Runner-style exit signs, blueberry Pleather seats and Argyle patterned floor type-way that plagues many American airports. Departing a 757 and walking into the airport for the first time in a decade, I wasn't disappointed by this tired-looking entrance port. I knew it was coming.

I also I wasn't surprised when leaving to see the American Airlines gates (11-20) filled with thousands of harried travelers, crammed between sharp aluminum armrests, watching CNN Airport Edition replay footage of Britney Spears' Tuesday appearance on Letterman. She just got divorced, you see.

There's an announcement. "Attention passengers on American Airlines Flight 815 to Boston. This flight is overbooked and we are currently looking for a few volunteers with flexible travel arrangements to give up their seats. We are offering in compensation a $300 travel voucher and seats on a flight to Boston tomorrow morning, with a stop in Miami, arriving in Boston at 3:30. If you are interested, please come up to the service counter."

I headed toward the counter, scanning the crowd for anyone else willing to torpedo a day of work for $300. I'm traveling abroad soon, you see. I shouldn't have worried. Ten minutes after I handed over my ticket, I heard a familiar voice. "Attention passengers on American Airlines Flight 815 to Boston..."

The announcement repeated every 10 minutes. The airline pushed back the departure time by 20 minutes, although 15 minutes after take-off no one had boarded the plane. They still needed volunteers.

Time cured my sister's sense of obligation to return to Boston College for a Monday lecture. "I suppose I can miss one day of class," she said.

American Airlines doesn't really want to give you $300. They really want to sell additional seats to last-minute customers, who pay between three and 10 times more than people purchasing advance discount fares. Bumping off a few customers at $300 ensures a full, profitable flight.

The money comes with restrictions. "This is just like cash. Don't loose it," the graying attendant said to me as he handed over a ticket-sized piece of paper covered in tiny black ink. "Service Fee May Apply at Time of Redemption," the voucher warned.

I have a feeling I won't be using this $300 for anything productive. For now, I've got a free hotel room in a three-star hotel (not the Ritz, but better than some hostels from the last few months) and a first-class ticket for a flight home tomorrow. Not bad a bad haul from a terrible airport.

Propelled

WICHITA, Kan. – Long before the Chunnel made it simple, Ken Paxton went to Europe daily.

His method of transport: the B-17 bomber, a medium range plane from World War II. He navigated, making sure the plane reached one of the 2,000 daily targets the Allies bombed in 1944.

The planes ran out of North Albion, which quite close to London. I made my way through there during a visit last winter, on the way up to Oxford.

Today it's uninteresting suburbs, but during the war it was a valuable airfield. Paxton was one of thousands of Americans who operated out of the site.

I met him at another air base, one that's much less strategically important. Jabara Municipal Airport isn't even Wichita's most important airport: that would be the wonderfully named Mid-Continent International Airport. There's also a major air force base here, McConnell. No, Jabara mostly is a place for rich corporate types to launch their private jets without having to deal with McConnell security.

This weekend, though, it's hosting the Wichita Flight Festival.

I interviewed young families, children, and people with lawn chairs. The Melting Pot of America was on display. I attempted talk with three Asian people who couldn't speak conversational English. (This is an anomaly. Most of the time Asian-Americans, and Latinos and other immigrants here have been excellent interview subjects.)

Mr. Paxton thought the festival was pretty damn good, he said as he watched three plane fly upside down in formations from the shadow of an airplane hangar. Did he ever do stunts like that in the B-17?

"No, no, no," he said, chuckling. He was in the business of straight-up flying.

For $100, I'll stopover on the Moon

BOSTON - Finals are over, college is over. I'm graduating in less than two weeks, and that means my return to Asia is drawing near. It also means I'm beginning to address some practicalities.

First up: a plane ticket.

Last time I used Orbitz to get a ticket on Cathay Pacific. It was very, very simple. I flew from JFK airport in New York direct to Hong Kong, and it cost about $1,050, for an unchangeable round trip fare. I thought I was getting a good deal; I was flying more than halfway around the world non-stop.

But when I arrived in Hong Kong, I was the fool. Everyone had gotten cheaper tickets -- $500 from Los Angeles, $700 from Toronto or $800 from New York. Most of them were of Asian descent, and used Chinese travel agents in Chinatowns back home. Those agents - typically ultra-serious women in their 40s - scour the ends of the Earth in search of a cheap ticket. It might include a layover in Texas, Guam or maybe Korea, but it will be cheap.

I wanted in. Boston's Chinatown isn't too large, but there is one travel agent right on the main intersection. I went there without success. June is pretty high season for connecting flights to China (although not in Hong Kong, because it's bloody hot), and Hong Kong is the most common place to do it. The woman wanted to sell me a ticket for $1,100, the day after a wanted to travel with layovers in Detroit and Tokyo. And I couldn't leave the airport in Tokyo. Typical Chinese travel agency restriction, without the typical Chinese price.

Things online were worse. Orbitz had no tickets below $1,400, and competing site Kayak, $1,500. I knew I could do better. I took the Metro to the Student Travel Agency, even though when I went in there for Spring Break tickets in January they laughed at me. "You have to book those in September," the agent, a woman with a Eastern Europe accent and very white teeth, said. "Do you want to reserve now for 2007?"

This time they found a deal: $1,000 for a ticket, with an international student card thrown in. It originates in Boston, and from proceeds directly onto Hong Kong. The carrier is Cathay Pacific, the best airline in the world. (And it's not just me: http://money.cnn.com/2005/06/02/pf/goodlife/best_airlines/index.htm)

Two weeks from now, I should be cruising at 35,000 feet, martini in hand, watching "The Da Vinci Code," with a belly full of steak. I love a good deal.