Big Gulp

Wichita, KANSAS - We're in the middle of a heat wave here. It's really, really hot. The temperature has been over 100 degrees for the past three days, and the three days before that weren't much cooler. Today it was 108 F. Tomorrow it's supposed to be 110 F. Even on the Asia scale, that's 44 C, and pretty damn hot.

Busy reporters who are moving around town all day need to keep hydrated. This means hitting the water cooler dozens of times each day. When the need for fluid is combined with the need for caffeine, I'm off to Quiktrip. Quiktrip -- or just QT -- is the consummate Kansas gas station. There's everywhere here. Elsewhere Mobil may battle it out with Sunoco or Exxon for dominance, but the battle is already over here. A large, white QT sign dots every other corner, and no one seems to mind. The price of gas is fair compared to the national average, and there's a large selection of food to be found inside.

What Quiktrip is really famous for is beverages. They don't just have Coke and Pepsi: there's Diet Dr. Pepper, Blue Gatorade, and even their own energy drink, Rooster Booster. This being America, the drinks come in the following sizes: 16, 22, 32, 44, 52 and 64 ounces. I know some people have a long ways to go, but if you're driving 64 ounces without stopping, there's a serious problem with your bladder, or you have an onboard privy.

The thing that bugs me about the drink system is the pricing. Unlike 99.999% of items in the world, more drink does not equal more price. It costs 59 cents for 16 ounces, 69 cents for 22, 79 cents for 32, but only 59 cents for 44! Apparently, 44 ounces are what Quiktrip is famous for, so the price is cheaper. Apparently it used to be 44 cents. I definitely know that it's stupid. It makes me feel guilty for wanting the smallest size (a perfectly adequate 16 ounces). Too often, I'm tricked into getting 150% more soda or slushee than I want because of some kind of ingrained belief that it's wasteful not to get the best value drink. If that's not a Communist way of thinking, I don't know what is.