BEIJING - A university orientation says quite a bit about the country's culture.
In America, orientations tend to be free-flowing affairs, where students kayak, scavenge, and sing their way through a week of different activities, each designed to help them find their niche and group of friends in a large school.
I've been lucky enough to see orientations in a couple other countries, and things are quite a bit different. Two years ago I was at McGill University in Montreal for orientation. There the student introduction to college is a series of drinking activities, introducing students to the permissive culture that pervades the French-speaking city. In Hong Kong, I observed, but did not participate in the endurance tests and feats of strength the constitute a new student's first week on campus. Students must walk open a mountain in the middle of the night, march around chanting militaryesque slogans and the stand for a marathon public speech session to ensure they are properly assimilated into the school's hard work all day, all night culture.
Tsinghua is quite different. Here, new students receive a lecture on China's laws.
Giving the address was Xiaoyue, from the Beijing chapter of the People's Republic of China Public Safety Bureau. In cheery but rather heavily accented English, she ran through a Powerpoint presentation on how not to windup in a cold, dark Chinese prison cell.
Tip No. 1: Don't do drugs.
"Some foreigners think, 'I only take drugs. I no sell.' But here in China, the penalties for drugs are very serious."
Next slide. There's a large picture of two old, foreign men with a black bar across their eyes. In the foreground, a young Chinese woman wearing not much is bending over. The picture resembles soft-core erotica, as depitced by a photography graduate student.
"In China there are some street women," Xiaoyue said, "But prostitution and hookers are not allowed."
The Americans, British and Germans in the audience laughed at the use of the word "hookers." The Eastern Europeans seemed baffled.
Xiaoyue encouraged audience participation at points, to mixed success.
"Who knows the Chinese word for tourism?" she said during the presentation's long section about visa regulations. The correct answer, luxing, could be heard from different points around the room.
She gave advice on drinking alcohol. "Who hear has been to Houhai? This is an area of Beijing with many, many bars around a lake. I think there are over 100 bars there. Some are very loud, for dancing. Some are not so loud. I think you should all go there some time."
The presentation went on for well over an hour. I learned about deportation rules, extending visas, applying for re-entry permits, why it's illegal to organize student marches, and even China's curious definition of religious freedom.
"It is illegal to try to convert a resident of a China to another religion. Here in China we have the religious freedom. You are free to go to the designated church. But many residents of China do not believe in religion. So we must respect their freedom, too."
Xiaoyue gave such a spirited and lively presentation, that some students seemed to forget she represented China's vast police network. At the end of her presentation, one student asked about something he'd heard about China back in the States.
"Is it true that sometimes people go to a bar, pass out, and wake up with stitches and without a kidney?"
The entire hall erupted in laughter. Xiaoyue, with perfect comedic timing, waited until the roar died down and replied, "No, I don't think so. Not here."
